Today - Yesterday's shadow & Tomorrow's mentor

Being part of a renowned organisation is something to be proud of. Really. But, what do I really bring here? I became part of the fourth estate for the usual reasons - name, fame, to make a difference, to give back to the society. But with this job, have I done anything remotely resembling my aspirations?
Now at every word, at every column, every day and every non-news-like item, I question my decision - what was so wrong with corporate? When the fourth estate I so believe in, is practically going to the dogs?
I sit and watch television, dreaming to be there, with all those other newscasters, and planning my every waking moment how to go about realising that dream. I have always prided in the fact that I have been like a sponge, trying to soak in every small even trivial information. In that one misconception, along with the blinding passion for the written word and language, I thought that I could be happy in this profession. I sit and read newspapers, trying to assimilate what's written and then dream of my bylines instead. Long ago, I had dreamt of becoming a columnist. Where has that dream gone? But at the same time I am not confident what I will do, once the chance does come by.
Today, I sneer at all those people who are into corporate, because they didn't dream, but frankly speaking, where has my dream got me? I try to cut corners of my own dreams. I try to appease myself by pleasing others. The almost dead-end job is a proof of that. At least the nine-to-fivers have a steady, and meaty incomes along with time to do what they please.
Once long time ago, I read somewhere the difference between education and literacy. Now, I am not sure the difference exists.