Mr so-and-so

The arch of her infeet is a bit too round,

The swell of her breast is a tad too hard

The curve of her hip is a bit too straight

The blood in her veins is a bit too cold

Mr so-and-so, the woman you love is a bit too dead

 

The clothes on her person were not really there,

The hair on her head was supposed to be there,

The skin on her body is worse to wear,

And, oh, her Jimmy Choos are missing one of the pair.

Mr so-and-so, I'm sorry for the woman for whom you care

 

The infeet has been broken brutally,

The breast has been cut out with a saw,

The hip has been hammered on multiple times...

Mr so-and-so, rigor mortis has now set in.

 

The clothes are now damp ash.

The hair is singed to the scalp.

The skin has had eighty five per cent burns.

We are still looking for the missing Jimmy Choo

Mr so-and-so, burn in hell for setting your wife on fire.