Do You Love Life?

Or so the guidance/ spiritual gurus ask you.

And how do you answer it? Can it always be answered in the affirmative? Can it be answered in the negative?

NO!!!

Right now I do love life. What is there not to love about it? I have friends, I have a family, I have love, and I have little money. But ask me the same question when I have fought with my best friend, or when I am away from my family, or the love has left my life for good - I won't have the same answer.

And moreover, someone has said quite aptly, "The only constant in life is change." And so would our answers to these questions change. Moment to moment. Day to day. But the one fact that all should keep in mind is that no matter what, you can't be loving your life all the time. There are times when you would be wanting a bridge to jump from; a noose to hang from; a bottle of poison to drink from.

And I personally have found out that these thoughts are healthy - Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. These thoughts cleansed my mind. I imagined (vividly I might add) with precision, how the bridge would look like, how the noose would tighten around my neck and how the poison would choke me. Only the final gruesome picture gave me the strength to annihilate the thoughts of death from my subconcious.

Death is something to welcome. Because death brings you the end, there is no other possible alternative to death. It is the end all.

But, the be all of it is life. Life is full of possibilities. Even when you are most desolate, there is always another possible choice. But in death, you lose those possibilities.

That is what scares me - the loss of possibilities. Hence, every time I want to die, I pull back at the last moment - because I realise I would lose the alternatives to Death.